Experience vs results.

Le roi de la foret 1978 by Rosa Bonheur

Is being results-oriented a desirable thing? Not in isolation. Not when we negate the value of the path we need to forge to arrive at the result. There are outcomes to all actions. Nothing occurs in a vacuum. But the process is what results in the outcome. Not always. But consistently applying a process will yield a specific outcome.

There is value in the process. There is value in the experience. There is value in the journey. As coaches, we must teach our clients to value and revere the process, the journey, the experiential nature of their lives. Without that, the results are empty.

We must teach clients to orient their thinking so that there is value in the process. As a concrete example, Cindy wants to lose 5 pounds (the outcome). She is depressed and irritable and unhappy with her appearance. This mood goes on for weeks, coming and going almost daily when she thinks about her appearance. She decides to commit to a daily 5 mile run (the process) and is consistent for several weeks. She does not lose the 5 pounds of body weight but is no longer feeling irritable and unhappy about her appearance. Why?

For the purposes of this example, its because she has empowered herself to take daily action to embody the kind of person who feels fit and strong. This daily process is meaningful enough that even though the outcome is elusive, the process has made a significant impact. And Cindy knows intuitively that she will eventually deal with those 5 pounds.

The satisfaction in knowing she is addressing her desire, through a concrete and regular process, helps Cindy feel empowered and hopeful and optimistic. This is true for all processes. When we make them a daily process, when we commit to our own growth, when we slow down enough to value the experience the results are not far behind. But that's an added bonus.

In the Authentic Wholeness Coach Training Certification Program, I teach coaches how to orient their clients toward the process, the journey, and the experience. As a coach, this skill is crucial because clients need to stick with something long enough to achieve the result. When they are happy as clams to engage in the process, they can better focus their energy and let the results come at their own pace. Our job is to keep them engaged long enough to get to that destination, or decide that they're headed somewhere else instead.

On the magnificence of experiencing: Travel Song, by Anne Glenny Wilson

‘COME, before the summer passes Let us seek the mountain land:’ So they called me, happy playmates, And we left the dawn-lit strand: Riding on till later sunbeams slanted On dark hills and downward-plunging streams, And the solemn forest softly chanted Old, old dreams.

From the pass, we saw in glory Wave on purple wave unrolled To the cloud-encircled summit Floating high, alone and cold: Like that altar-stone, by men of Athens Dedicated to the unknown God; Waiting for some fire to touch his holy White abode.

Then the mellow sunset dying Passed in rosy fire away, And the stars and planets journeyed On their ancient unknown way. Riders of the illimitable heaven! Moving on so far beyond our ken, Do ye scorn the toiling, heavy-hearted Sons of men?

Ere we slept we heard the torrents Rushing from that mighty hill Join in deep melodious singing, While the forest-land was still. Music of forgotten wildernesses! Would that I could hear that song again! Song of primal Earth’s enchanted sweetness, Joy and pain.